I haven’t posted here in almost two years now. Much of that time involved deep healing and consisted of a lot of work that I needed to do quietly and with trusted others. It was work I couldn’t broadcast. Perhaps, one day, I’ll be ready to tell that story. But now is not the time.
Through that period of healing myself, and the work that came before, I’ve found a place where I feel happy and secure with my approach to work as a PhD student and a scientist. I’ve counteracted the approach I was habituated to in my academic history up until my PhD: one fueled by fear to finish the current task so I can start the next one.
The purpose of ‘The Lazy PhD’ was always to continually draw myself back to a new approach: slow work, slow living. And now I no longer feel the need to draw myself back. Because I’m here now. I live in the space of the Mary Oliver quote that so often plays in my mind, “Things take the time they take. Don’t worry.”
Along with many sources of privilege, I’ve cultivated new approaches to my work that have allowed me to focus on what’s most important at each stage of the PhD process. As I near my dissertation defense, it’s writing papers and analyzing my data. I’ve figured out systems to identify and deprioritize everything else, especially the flood of email that will only swell as I continue on in my career.
I know there will be times as I continue down this road where I will need to recalibrate again. I’m thinking especially of the various stages of the tenure track.
But for now, I’m exactly where I’ve wanted to be for so, so long.
The website will stay here as reminder to myself and an encouragement to others walking similar paths. But there’s not much I feel I want to add right now on the subject of slow living.
That said, I do feel a pull to write on other themes. In particular, about academia itself: what it has given me, how it has shaped me, and the importance of protecting spaces for free thought and creativity. But, as always, I’ll take my time getting there.
The Lazy PhD 